Soft Whispers

My twin brother has a new puppy. The dogs  name is Butch. He was named after our cousin who has passed away. Butch is an English bulldog pup. While visiting my Mom who is close to dying the dog was left in the backyard. The dog dug a hole and found this eight inch statute of an angel.










On the same day I stepped on this pin of an angel which got embedded in my shoe.

   I think I have got an answer to my question about knowing my Mom will be okay when she leaves this earth. Thank you Jesus!

After Life..

As my father lay on his deathbed my son came to visit him. Before my son entered the room we had a conversation. I let my son know that if there was anything he wanted to say or know this was the time to ask his grandpa. My son conveyed to me that he didn't feel comfortable asking. So he asked me to ask my dad to contact my deceased husband John and tell him that he loved him and to ask John to send a sign. I repeated  the message to my father. Three days later my father passed away. I was staying at my sisters house. The morning after my fathers death I received a panicky phone call from my son. "Mom..Mom your not going to believe this I just got a weird message in my voice mail, I am going to forward it to you." I dialed my voicemail and heard the following "This is Johnny grandpa told me to call.  My knees went weak as I heard that message....the voice sounded just like my late husbands...yes it was a wrong number but it was the right message.

I am thinking of my mom today as she slips closer to death. When it happens I pray for a sign from her.

Things To Make One Wonder

Mom told me that a man sang to her all night long. I asked what song and she said he just sang. I spent the next day with my mom and at one point she asked me 
"Did you hear that?" "Music" she whispered wide eyed. I walked around the house listening and could find no music. 


On the third day my mother confessed to seeing a little girl in her room. At first she was afraid to tell me.  She began by saying 
" You know that place between being asleep and fully awake? "  " yes mom ". she whispered ,"Well I don't want two men in white coats showing up at my door" her eyes grew big with fear as she continued, " I saw a little girl". My inquiring mind asked "Who was she mom"? " "Just a little girl",she answered.

I could sense my mothers fear and quickly assured her that God comes in all forms and she must not fear what she saw.

My sister and I were talking and we think that maybe it was herself as a child that she was seeing.  That answer didn't seem to make sense to me. As we talked it came to me maybe it was an angel. My sister  and I would both like to agree to this line of thinking.

I talked to one of her hospice workers. This particular lady has been taking care of many people over the last thirty years. When I told her about my mothers encounters her face lit up with a big smile. She said " it's her angels, and I have heard of these happenings many, many times. They are preparing her to move on".  Her words brought serenity to my breaking heart.

Happy 4th of July

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Buzz

Got a little extra buzz from my drink today. Can I get a shot of Benadryl on the side?

Up Up and Away...

Got to love Southwest Airlines as I got off my flight in Orlando I was greeted with ...Hi Welcome to Chicago .. Haha I had to think for a moment just where was I? without missing a beat I said, Gee thanks I almost thought I was on the wrong flight! 

  I had just spent an hour on the ground in Baltimore..so I had a moment of doubt ..I laughed as it made my day. Then as I was walking in the airport I fell on my ass so I guess I'm home...

Click Your Heels Three Times

Being home in this small hometown life is both comforting and claustrophobic. Bittersweet.

I have many stories to write for the future as soon as I am able to process them through my brain.

Internet access here is limited to a wing and a prayer. I go home tomorrow and keep telling myself ... one more sleep.

Brown chicken..Brown Cowow...

Sitting at my sister's house watching t.v.with her last night I remembered a few years back when we did the same thing. At that time I was visiting with my children who were teenagers and my youngest daughter who was nine years old. My sister and I were talking and her husband was trying to watch the New England Patriots football game. Hubby got upset that he could not enjoy his football while sitting next to a bunch of gabbing hens. He threw the channel changer in my sisters lap and marched off to his bedroom t.v. But not before telling my sister watch whatever you want.

My sisters t.v. Is as big as a drive-in movie screen. We continued to gab as she channel surfed. Next thing I know my ears were being assaulted by what was on the t.v. Ahhh..mmmm...Yes! ...mmmm harder..faster yes yes Yessss! I looked up at the larger than real life screen and saw that my sister had a porno movie on. I quickly tried to cover all three of my children's eyes as I wrestled the remote from my sister. I screamed at her "What are you doing?" she replied " he said watch whatever".Such is my life with my sister..

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

HaHaha my sis just dropped her drawers and peed in her front yard cause she didn't want to go in the house cus we were spying on the neighbor who had an ambulance at his house. No she doesn't drink she's just old and it's called incontinence if you don't know what that means you will know when you get to be her age this is the longest run on sentence ever my high school teacher would be so proud and another thing her dog Brewskis snores louder than any husband I have ever known by the way she names her trees in her yard the tree she did her business on is named Fat Albert and I think that it's a good thing that we are going to church in the morning as I am going to ask God to forgive her for her sins 

The pen (in this case the iPad keyboard is a mighty sword as my sister is just now finding out) I am learning where all the creaks in her floorboards are so I can sneak around her house without alerting her.

On the Road Again

At the airport the lines through security remind me of Disney's hurry up and wait philosophy . Applause breaks out spontaneously, as I notice the American flag being held up high as World War two veterans pass under it and on through security. Suddenly tears well up in my eyes as I am reminded of my father. How appropriate that i am thinking of him at this moment when I am traveling to be with my mother. The grim reaper has knocked at her door and invited it self in. This is not my first time at the dance three years previously I made the same trip for my father.

The line is taking forever, will I make my flight I think.  Getting half way naked and placing my possessions into gray plastic trays. I am asked to go through the metal detector and it beeps. I am pulled to the side and told that I am randomly selected for further screening. I am asked to place my finger on some kind of blue paper like substance. Then I am cleared to go. 

Half hour to my flight boards I spot a Starbucks. Thank you sweet baby Jesus!  Another line. I keep glancing at the clock on the wall as I wait. My order is taken and the lady behind the counter asks me for a name. I tell her..hmm who do I want to be today..you decide.. I like to play the be anyone you want to be game every time I go to Starbucks. The barista decides that I look like a Tracy today. I carry on this persona the rest of the day introducing my self as Tracy.

I go back to the gate to see that the plane has already been boarded. I sprint down the ramp in time to be seated in the cheap seats. A four year old sat near me playing with her whoppy cushion the entire flight.Thus begins my journey...