Monday, July 16, 2012

Tell Her..

Death and birth. I have often wondered about both. Both make you wait and come in their own due time. They both bring tears and joy. You know that suffering has ended with death and you eventually feel joy knowing that your loved one has gone home to the heavens. Birth brings hope back into your life. Both bring you the knowledge that your life will be forever changed.
As I awoke this morning I stepped outside. I took the time in this rush..rush world to stop and really look around me. All of my senses were alert. I heard the call of the nesting birds in my tree. I noticed that my flowers in my garden had opened their blooms for the first time. I smelled their heavenly aroma. I gazed up at the dawn of a new day and noted the crescent moon and Jupiter and Venus had put on a show for me.  The song my mother always sang to me came into my head..Would you like to swing on a star..carry moonbeams in a jar... I sang it all day.How many times had I walked out that door and never really seen what was always in front of me?  I had the privilege of sensing this wonder called life. I paused and prayed and I knew. I knew that today would be her last on this earth. I went on with life off to work and home, her my mother constantly on my mind. She was with me as I greeted the children at daycare. I felt it in their hugs today which seemed to be extra bountiful. I sang her songs in French to them. I felt love. She is taking her last breaths as I speak..I am in that room with her in spirit. The sky just opened up and heavy rains are soaking up the earth. My tears mingle with them. I text my sister and tell her to hold her and softly whisper in her ear...I love you and  want you to know that I have always been proud to call you my mother. Tell her..I will be okay till we meet again as I am assured that we will. Tell her this as I am for sure she can hear my words..there is no goodbye because there is just no good in bye. Wait for me..I will see you later. I love you Mom.

3 comments:

  1. I feel blessed to have been able to say those words to my Mom... and to tell her it was okay to go. I sure miss her, however, she will NEVER have to go through her struggles again and I'm grateful for that.

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  2. I have no words. It is so hard waiting for the inevitable. I can only offer a prayer.....

    done.

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  3. Carrie Lynne, you write so beautifully, thank you for sharing some of your story. These things are hard to understand-and in the midst of them, you are grateful and notice what is going on around you. Wishing you peace today.

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