Meet Virginia

I just found out that my best friend went on a hush..hush..road trip without moi'. I'm not going to be upset over it. It is her anniversary and she is with her hubba bubba. Threes a crowd all all that bullshit excuse. 


My first hint of an indication of her whereabouts came to me on facebook where the bitch bestie posted a picture of snow. SNOW? Come on now we live in sunny funny Florida and it would have to be the end of the world as we know it before it would snow here. As everyone knows the world is not going to end until December 21, 2012.


Next the taunting text messages began to arrive causing a disquieting harmful effect on me.


Mental anguish took over my being upon the rapid arrival of photo messages. Oh the pain of it all.


To put the icing on the cake I received a text message from a second 
fiend friend. 


My second beastie  bestie had moved to Virgin Virginia last year and  
I have missed her everyday since. So Miss Virginia texts me : Guess who's here? They (the traitor and her patsy)  surprised me and they are here to V-a-c-a-t-i-o-n (cue bubblegum vacation song by the Go-Go's) Well isn't that Special !


So Ms. Virginia texts me : "save your pennies and you have a free place to stay. Country house..jacuzzi bath..swimming pool in the summer..don't ever have to leave..just bring food and drinks..So peaceful." salt to the wound, I say: at least give me tequila with that.


So I reply: " Don't you worry about me. The 50 cats and I are doing just FINE.


So here is what I am missing:

Damn you all to H- E- double Hockey Sticks!!!






And your little dog too!

My Dad is Dying

                                       My Dad is Dying
I needed a break from the death watch. My sister was there and I felt confident that everything would be alright long enough for me to walk away for a few minutes.  I walked to the end of the short hall. There was a room set up to look like a living room. A couch two comfy chairs, coffee table and two end tables with lamps. And of course the focal point of the room was the TV  complete with a remote control. I held the remote turned on the TV and mindlessly began to stare at it. I tried in vain to find the button that would mute my thinking. I was so tired emotionally drained I wanted off this roller coaster of emotions. All those years of growing up in that mans house all the times I had wished him dead. How ironic that now my wishes were coming true.
My solitude was short lived. In walked a young child. If I had to guess I would say he was about ten years old. He sat down in the chair next to where I was sitting. I asked him if he wanted to watch TV and atomically handed over the remote.
   As our hands met on the exchange of the remote he looked into my eyes and blurted  “My dad is dying.” In my head I said “ Oh dear God you have got to be freaking kidding me!” “ Like I don’t have enough to deal with right now.” “I don’t know what to say to this kid.” Still looking in his eyes I replied “My dad is dying too.” My new friend introduced himself as Jason and quickly words began to spill out of his mouth. “My dad has brain cancer he is only 35 years old.” “That is him you hear screaming sometimes.” “They tied him to the bed cause he doesn’t know where he is and keeps trying to get up.” My brain was kind to me and shut down my emotions. On any other day  I would have been reduced to a  bucket of tears. I sensed that Jason did not need me to cry. He needed someone to tell, someone who would just listen he needed to process what was happening by being verbal about it. I waited for him to finish. As he was talking I began to think of how he was the age that my youngest child was when her daddy died. So I approached him with the information that I would of wanted someone to educate my child with. I told him of my children’s fathers death. I told him about the things he could expect to happen and feel. He thanked me and told me that he and his family were going home for the night. He asked me if I was staying the night. I told him I was because I had made a promise to my father to do so. He said he was afraid to leave his dad. He was afraid that his Dad would die with him not there. I said if you like I will look in on him tonight. He said you would? I said I promise you that I will. I reached into my pocket to get a tissue and came out with a handful of candy from the reception desk candy jar. I asked him if he wanted some. He said yes. I told him where he could go to get more. He told me that the lady at the desk had told him he couldn’t have anymore. I said oh really. I was out raged to think that someone would deny a child something as little as candy when their father lay dying in the same building. I asked Jason to walk with me as I marched up to the desk with that held the candy jar. Jason stood back as I swooped the candy jar off the desk and emptied all of its contents into my pockets and hands. I gave the little old lady sitting there the hairy eyeball and walked away. Jason and I walked back to the TV room and I dumped my loot onto the table. He shook his head and laughed at what I had done. I look at it this way all those years of visiting Grandma’s Candy jar had finally paid off.
I kept my promise to Jason and watched over his father that night. Sadly Jason’s father passed away the next afternoon.

Best Friends Wedding

I think that I had already posted the  following speech here but I am recycling it as part of a tribute to friendship. I decided that I wanted to take part in NaBloPoMo. Now you are probably scratching your head and saying huh? NaBloPoMo stands for National Blog Posting Month. To join one must promise to post every day for the month. Just the kick in the pants that I needed. The theme for the month of January is friendship. One does not have to keep to the theme it is just a suggestion to help spark your writing. I probably could write a new post every day about my friendship with Jen. But the statue of limitations has not run out yet. So without further ado :

My best friend was getting married and as the Maid of Honor it was proclaimed that I should write and read a speech. I wrote this speech on a scrap of paper under the dryer at the hairdressers with 5 glasses of mimosas in me on the morning of the event.
Welcome to all, my name is Carrie and I am Chris' opening act. Before I start I would like to say that Jen you look stunning, and Shane you just look stunned! When Jen asked me to be her bride slave err maid I was delighted, but two days ago I was voulen told umm informed that I would be giving a roast umm toast. Please forgive me I am doing my own writing due to the writer's strike. First I'm going to give Shane some advice.
Whenever your wrong- ADMIT IT!
Whenever your right- SHUT-UP!
The best way to remember an anniversary is to forget one!
Never forget the two most important sayings--Shane repeat these after me..Your Right Dear, and O.K. Buy It!
Yes woman really do need new shoes for every outfit!
Lastly Shane never be afraid that Jen is going to leave you she has spent years training you and she does not give up easily!
I have been asked to read a card- Darling Jen, You know that you can't have me so I have sent you my stunt double. Love, Brad Pitt.
Jen.............. Jen and I met in Pre-school. We were both teachers there, that was over twelve years ago. What can I say about Jen..I am kind of limited due to that pinky swearing incident! A best friend is like a four-leaf clover...hard to find but lucky to have. To know Jen is to love Jen. Jen- has been with me through good times and bad... We have danced on tables, shopped (Payless!),gossiped (sorry Amy!) Laughed and cried together. Jen is a amazing person! Shane is a very lucky man. Shane I know you will take care of her ........she means the world to me. Keep her happy, make her laugh. Most of all Love her Always and Forever. So on that note I will propose a toast- May the best day of your life be the worst day of your future! Cheers!