Sunday Drive

In the south there is an unwritten code among the genteel southern woman. One should never leave the house without being fully coiffed, for one never knows whom they might run into down at the local Piggly Wiggly. With that being said I made sure to fully adorn my self in my Sunday best.
I slid into my " pimp my ride please" 1995 Happy Honda and headed out. There is nothing better than the lure of the traditional Sunday drive.
I leisurely drove through what is known to us common folks as " the richie  rich" neighborhood of Winter Park, Florida. As my car bumped along over the cobblestone streets I took in the surrounding scenery. Towering canopies of  live old oak trees draped with chandelier Spanish moss. Behind the trees that line the streets are hundred year old mansions where lifestyles of the rich and famous are dreamed about.
As I approached the golf course country club where it meets the historic cemetery I paused my car at the four way stop sign. I took this pause in time to text my sister who was following in the car behind me. Without fully looking up I proceeded to move forward. I immediately slammed on my brakes. For a moment I experienced  being snow blind. A light whiter than white gleamed off the exposed backside of a shirtless man as he jogged in place in front of my car. My first thought was who the hell jogs anymore? I watched as he hiked up his smaller than Richard Simmons short-shorts which had slipped down. He turned his head to look me in the eye. I noticed a enormous orange-red afro which was sporting a 1980's sweat band. ( think the video Let's Get Physical here ). His eyes locked mine and I noted the extreme arched thin eyebrows reminiscent of Marlena Dietrich .
Oh my God! It's Carrot Top !!! I  I almost mashed him with my car.
I pointed my finger at him and he returned the favor as he jogged on.  I grabbed the phone and called my sister who confirmed my sighting. I was relieved to know that had I hit him the southern ladies had nothing to fear because I followed the code and was properly attired for an interview with both the police and the paparazzi.

Family Traditions

            While doing research for a story that I am writing about my family I came across some interesting tidbits about my grandfather. My grandfather was French-Canadian he grew up in Canada on a farm. He moved to New England as a young man. He once owned a diary farm in Vermont. All the cows had names. He named the cows after family members. Sometimes the cows would get out of the field and wander onto the dirt road that lead to the house. We would have to get out of the car and shoo them away by name. Move it Uncle Leo, go home Jean, quit eating the lawn Paul. There were over fifty ways to leave your cow.                                                                                                                                                                  I also learned that whenever it was someones birthday the family would place a piece of butter on the birthday persons nose. No one in the family knows why this was done. I was wondering if anyone has ever heard of this being done and if you might know why.

At first I thought maybe it was because during the Depression  butter was a rare commodity. I had to quickly disclaim that thought as the time frame did not match. I am lead to think that maybe it was just a silly family quirk. I began to think about other families and I am wondering what traditions others have.What kind of traditions has your family made up?

              Upon further research and the God's that be Google has lead me to my answer. Here is what I have found:


Canada - Greasing the nose with butter or margarine. In Atlantic Canada (Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick and Newfoundland) the birthday child is ambushed and their nose is greased for good luck. The greased nose makes the child too slippery for bad luck to catch them. This tradition is reputed to be of Scottish decent. Birthday punches. In Quebec the birthday person receives a punch for each year they are alive and then one for good luck.

My birthday is tomorrow and I am so going to hide my nose.