Witness Protection Program

I was sitting on my couch enjoying some peace and quite, when I noticed a group of people walking up to my door. Oh crap it's the Kool-Aid drinking sneaker wearing Jehovah's Witness entourage .

I quickly instructed my family to be quite and not to answer the doorbell.

A few months ago my daughter was  home sick and made the mistake of answering the door to them. As soon as she answered the door she fainted  at their feet. 

I came home a few minutes later to find two strange women in my house taking care of my daughter. I quickly thanked them and ushered them out of the house, I used the excuse that my daughter was highly contagious. Before they left that day they pushed a pamphlet into my hands. I knew they would be back.

This was the day. The doorbell rang  five times. Just go away I prayed. Next thing I know The watchtower pamphlet was being shoved under my door. Oh no  I crawled to the door so they couldn't see me through the window and pushed the pamphlet back at them. They slid it back under the door. This tug of war went on for several minutes. Finally they gave up and went on to the next victim. My days are numbered.