Deal or No Deal

Thing 1 and Thing 2 :grandma what's for dinner ME: ham, loaded bake potatoes, broccoli and pineapple. And dinner rolls Thing1 and Thing 2 talk among themselves where they think I can't hear them... Thing 1.. hey if I give you my ham can I have your broccoli Thing 2: if you give me your ham and your pineapple I'll give you my broccoli and my potato. Thing 1 ..ok thats a deal! And they even shook on it ..ME: oh and guys we are changing seats at the dinner table tonight your not sitting next to each other tonight, the look on their faces was priceless!!! I love being grandmom!!! Lol

Breakfast ?

   I asked  one of my students to sit down because it was time for breakfast. He replied " No thanks, I'm not feeling it today."


   I fought back my reply of  "Yes I agree with you I'm not feeling it either as far as teaching goes today."
  


    Counting down the days till my vacation. July please get here soon.

Is It On Straight?

LILLY ROCKING THE LIPSTICK

Tales From Out of School

     This months curriculum in my preschool class is bugs. We have been learning all about butterflies,spiders,caterpillars,bees, etc. On the playground yesterday my class and I accidentally stumbled upon a black beetle. I decided to go with the flow and we captured the bug and placed him into a clear plastic cup with a lid to study. I thought to myself: this is a great teachable moment. I told the children that we could take Mr. Beetle inside and exam him in the cup. I explained that we had to take great care as not to shake the cup or squish the bug. We sat around and passed the bug cup around to each student at circle time. The children laughed and squealed with delight/fright at the honor of holding the bug. We talked about how many legs he had and took out our book of bugs to find out more about him. I told the children that we were just going to borrow the bug for awhile and explained that we needed to release him back to nature unharmed.

     The day went on and it was nap time. I ended up going home before the children awoke from nap. As I was laying down last night to sleep I realized that I had forgotten to have the children place the bug back outside. This morning at work the first thing I did was check to see if the bug was still among the living. He was. So at circle time we all bid a farewell to Mr. Beetle. I told the children that the bug was missing his mom and dad and he needed to go home. I reminded them about how they feel when their moms and dads are at work.

   We all went outside and I opened the cup Mr.Beetle scurried out of the cup to the sound of the children's laughter and screams. He walked two feet away and then stopped and turned back to our classroom door. Suddenly out of nowhere came a ugly lizard. What happened next was like watching an accident in slow motion. Quick as the wink of an eye Mr. Ugly Lizard scooped Mr. Beetle into his mouth. The last thing we saw was Mr. Beetle inside the lizards mouth he was upside down and his legs were thrashing wildly into the air.
     I tried to grab the lizard ( did I think that he would let go of his spoils?) off ran the lizard with the beetle under the fence to the land of no return. I felt so awful and I was stunned to think that my actions led to the beetles demise. I had to bottle up my feelings and deal with the children's emotions. Hey kids! Wasn't that great how Mr. Lizard came to give Mr. Beetle a ride home? That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Later on I shared my story with my fellow teachers, at first they laughed then one teacher asked me "Were any children traumatized?" I said  "No , the only one traumatized was me and I think that I shall have to take the rest of the day off to recover."

Pillow Pets

Bought to you by my terrific two year old grand daughter

He Who Shall Remain Nameless

I was a newly married woman when I first met my nephew. My honeymoon night was spent at my in laws. We were piss poor and it was either spend money on a hotel or fix the car. The car won out. Cars always won out over me in my marriage. My husband loved cars and had too many of them for me to list.

So here I was laying in bed the morning after I got married. The door pushed open and in walked my five year old new nephew. He jumps up on the bed between my husband and myself and asks in a very loud voice "So got any kids?" I knew I liked this kid immediately.

A few weeks later we went to visit my nephew and his Mom. His mom was babysitting a few kids. We sat around and had coffee and I asked were the nephew was. His Mom told me he was in his room playing. I entered his room and heard some giggling. I followed the sound to under the bed. I got down on the floor and peeked under the bed. What to my surprise should I see?

I ran to get his Mom and the nephew and the little girl who was being babysat came crawling out from their hidey-ho. The little girl began to cry at being found out. My sister in law asked what they had been doing and the children said playing doctor.

Upon closer inspection a certain purple crayon was found to have been delicately placed in someones rump.

I said to my sister in law I guess the nephew is specializing in proctology. You should be very proud.


*disclaimer no children, small animals, farm animals or purple crayons were harmed in the events of this story*   

Things Kids Say..

When my oldest daughter was little and it was her birthday she would go around singing Happy Birthday. Her version of the song was slightly different than mine.

Hoppy Burpday to meeeeeee!


I once asked her what she wanted for a gift and she said:

A newb bacon soup ( in kid sense talk : A new bathing suit ) 

Out of the Mouths of Babes

     I teach pre-school children. Today at school for breakfast we had pancakes and applesauce. One of my students blurted out "More porncakes and ass sauce Please!" The look on my co-teacher face was priceless. Her mouth was hanging open and her face betrayed her shock. I looked at her and said," Well, he did say please."