Out of the Mouths of Babes...

 

                      Children 



 I love those moments..for instance the morning I received the phone call that my mom had just passed Lilly my three year old grand daughter woke up came to the outside door . I sitting watching the dawn break in the sky. Lilly said good morning I want to ride my bike. I thought "girl it's 6am!" I looked at her and said " YES! Let's do this!" off we went down the road and around the block in the still quite of the awaking dawn light. This was a wonderful moment and a great way to take away my pain..a bad memory turned as golden as the light of a new day..

Tell Her..

Death and birth. I have often wondered about both. Both make you wait and come in their own due time. They both bring tears and joy. You know that suffering has ended with death and you eventually feel joy knowing that your loved one has gone home to the heavens. Birth brings hope back into your life. Both bring you the knowledge that your life will be forever changed.
As I awoke this morning I stepped outside. I took the time in this rush..rush world to stop and really look around me. All of my senses were alert. I heard the call of the nesting birds in my tree. I noticed that my flowers in my garden had opened their blooms for the first time. I smelled their heavenly aroma. I gazed up at the dawn of a new day and noted the crescent moon and Jupiter and Venus had put on a show for me.  The song my mother always sang to me came into my head..Would you like to swing on a star..carry moonbeams in a jar... I sang it all day.How many times had I walked out that door and never really seen what was always in front of me?  I had the privilege of sensing this wonder called life. I paused and prayed and I knew. I knew that today would be her last on this earth. I went on with life off to work and home, her my mother constantly on my mind. She was with me as I greeted the children at daycare. I felt it in their hugs today which seemed to be extra bountiful. I sang her songs in French to them. I felt love. She is taking her last breaths as I speak..I am in that room with her in spirit. The sky just opened up and heavy rains are soaking up the earth. My tears mingle with them. I text my sister and tell her to hold her and softly whisper in her ear...I love you and  want you to know that I have always been proud to call you my mother. Tell her..I will be okay till we meet again as I am assured that we will. Tell her this as I am for sure she can hear my words..there is no goodbye because there is just no good in bye. Wait for me..I will see you later. I love you Mom.

After Life..

As my father lay on his deathbed my son came to visit him. Before my son entered the room we had a conversation. I let my son know that if there was anything he wanted to say or know this was the time to ask his grandpa. My son conveyed to me that he didn't feel comfortable asking. So he asked me to ask my dad to contact my deceased husband John and tell him that he loved him and to ask John to send a sign. I repeated  the message to my father. Three days later my father passed away. I was staying at my sisters house. The morning after my fathers death I received a panicky phone call from my son. "Mom..Mom your not going to believe this I just got a weird message in my voice mail, I am going to forward it to you." I dialed my voicemail and heard the following "This is Johnny grandpa told me to call.  My knees went weak as I heard that message....the voice sounded just like my late husbands...yes it was a wrong number but it was the right message.

I am thinking of my mom today as she slips closer to death. When it happens I pray for a sign from her.