Friday, June 19, 2009


Here I sit writing. A million thoughts are running through my head. As of late my life has been complete chaos. Where oh where do I begin to tell the story? I think that it all began to unfold three months ago. I remember the date March 17, 2009. On St. Patrick's Day I began the day bringing my youngest daughter Kendra home from the hospital. Kendra had just given birth to my youngest grand baby. A beautiful little girl named Lilly. I had already planned to take the week off to be home with them both. Little did I know at that moment that fate had other plans for me.
We all got home and settled down to be ready to take care of the new baby. It was at this time that I noticed a severe pain between my left ribs and hip bone. I tried to ignore this pain hoping that it would dissipate. The pain began to get worse and I thought maybe it was another ovarian cyst. I laid in bed with my daughter and slept for a short while. The pain overtook me and I awoke me from my sleep. I thought a hot bath would help. I hurt so bad at this point that I climbed into the tub fully clothed. As I was sitting in the tub I leaned over and began to throw up into the toilet. My daughter came in and looked at me and asked what was wrong. I told her of my pain and told her to call her brother to take me to the emergency room.
What was I thinking? We are of Irish decent and St. Patty's day is like our Christmas. My son the true green Irish man that he is had spent the night drinking and was in no position to come and rescue me. My daughter wanted to call 9-1-1 but I would not let her. We called a neighbor and she came and took me to the hospital. I had to wait a few hours in the waiting room. At some point my neighbor got pissed off at my wait and demanded that I be taken into a room. I think my throwing up in their office trash can convinced them to take me next.
When I got into the e.r. room the first thing that did after taking my medical history was to do a e.k.g. They quickly ruled out a heart attack. At this point I was now experiencing excruciating pain.I have a very high tolerance for enduring pain. I had three babies and two of those births were completely natural with no drugs at all. The pain that I was experiencing was worst then giving birth. The hospital could not give me anything for pain until they could figure out what they were dealing with. My oldest daughter was called and could not leave her three young children at home, so she sent her husband over to be with me.
The next test ordered was a c.t. scan. I had to drink two thick nasty tasting milkshakes that would illuminate my insides for the c.t. scan. As if that wasn't bad enough I had to wait another hour for the radioactive drink to travel my digestive system and not throw up or it was back to square one. At last the time came for the test. While in the c.t. scan room the tech surprised me with yet another yummy milkshake to drink. I sucked that awful stuff down in record time because I knew once I got the test I would be able to get something for the pain. After the test I was then sent back to the e.r. room. A sweet angel of mercy arrived and plunged a needle full of
dilaudid into my i.v. Dilaudid is considered to be somewhat faster-acting and about eight times stronger than morphine and about three times stronger than heroin on a milligram basis. I was able to get some release from the pain.
I was moved to the trauma room to wait. My son in law showed up. The nurses kept coming in and out every fifteen minutes to take my blood pressure. My reading kept falling lower and lower. At this point I was still in pain and was screaming for more drugs. At one point ( I was told days later) I screamed at my son in law to get me roofies . I haven't a clue what they are but I wanted some. ( I later found out that roofies is a knock out drug ) My son showed up at this point and took over my care. The doctor came in to tell us that I had diverticulitis. Diverticulitis is a pocket of infection (abscess) that forms in the abdominal cavity. The inflammation or infection then may spread to the membrane that covers the inside of the abdominal wall, causing peritonitis. This infection in turn may spread to other parts of the body (sepsis). My son questioned why I wasn't in a room upstairs and was told that I was to unstable to take the trip up the elevator.
I knew I was dying, I felt my life slipping away. I could see my body in it's curled up fetal position laying on the table. I couldn't talk but I could hear what was being said. I sensed that I was in a tunnel. As I looked at myself the light was getting dimmer, as I looked in the other direction the light was getting brighter. I felt no pain. I thought no thoughts. I was at complete peace. A peace that I have never experienced before or would probably never know again. Sweet reprise from pain and suffering.
The very next thing that I was aware of was waking up the next night in my hospital room and the pain was back. I was treated with two different strong antibiotics and there was talk of doing surgery. I spent the next five days in the hospital and the antibiotics did the trick. I was sent home to recover with more antibiotics and a visiting nurse. As time went by I resumed my normal life. I have been busy helping to raise my grand daughter, working full time, and back in college working on a degree in special education. You might ask why is she sharing all this private medical information. My answer is that I do so to share information with you the reader. Take care of your body and listen to it, eat right, reduce your stress and keep your doctor's appointments. One last thought life is all about love please be kind to everyone who crosses your path. What if this was your last day on this earth; how would you want to be remembered?

Saturday, May 23, 2009

RESUME ~Dorothy Parker~


Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause a cramp.
Guns weren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful,
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker

Day Tripping

The brat and I were taking in the scenery of First Street, Sanford, Florida yesterday. First Street is dotted with antique shops and art galleries. As we were trudging along the brat informed me that since she was now seven months pregnant she needed to pee, and pee now.
The first place we came upon was a bar slash art gallery. As we walked inside the owner came to the door to greet us. She asked us if we were there for the book signing. I replied that we were there for the prego to use the rest room. She pointed to the back of the bar and said " Enjoy, but be warned we have the best bathroom you will ever see."
The brat walked back to the bathroom . I made my way to a table that was set up with books. As I approached the book table a young blond women came over to me and introduced her self as Kristin Harmel. She proceeded to tell me that she was a novelist, and showed me her books. The book she was promoting was called " The Art of the French Kiss" it is written in the genre of chick lit. Chick lit is told in a more confiding, personal tone. It's like having a best friend tell you about her life. These kinds of books are usually filled with humor.
We had a brief conversation about writing and promoting books. I asked her if she did any social networking. Kristin informed me that she had a myspcace and a facebook profile. I spoke with her about Gather and we exchanged emails.
At this point my daughter came back from the ladies room and she leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Momma you have to come see the ladies room." I let her lead me to the pink door of the ladies room . I opened the door and began to laugh. Yes indeed this ladies room was a piece of art. Oh..the places my panties travel to! Please ladies enjoy the pictures that follow.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Feed Your Mind

“What if just knowing what a word meant could help feed hungry people around the world? Well, at FreeRice it does . . . the totals have grown exponentially.”

- Washington Post
I have found a great web site that not only improves your mind but helps to feed the hungry people of the world. Warning: This web site is very addictive.

FreeRice is a non-profit website run by the United Nations World Food Program. Our partner is the Berkman Center for Internet & Society at Harvard University.

FreeRice has two goals:

1. Provide education to everyone for free.
2. Help end world hunger by providing rice to hungry people for free.

This is made possible by the generosity of the sponsors who advertise on this site.

Whether you are CEO of a large corporation or a street child in a poor country, improving your education can improve your life. It is a great investment in yourself.

Perhaps even greater is the investment your donated rice makes in hungry human beings, enabling them to function and be productive. Somewhere in the world, a person is eating rice that you helped provide. Thank You

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Monday, April 6, 2009

Lilly born March 15,2009

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I'm Alive and Well

Hello all. I have missed writing. I had some life circumstances that have kept me away. I was ill and in the hospital. I am now on the road to recovery. As if being ill wasn't enough my single daughter just gave birth to my new grandchild. My daughter lives with me so I have been playing the role of grandmother and baby daddy. I will be writing more soon.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Help me!

Help me I am twittering and I can't stop.

Monday, February 16, 2009

What If....?

I woke up and stumbled out of my warm bed towards the kitchen. As I was standing at the sink waiting for my coffee I had a thought. What if this were to be my last day on earth.I had been complaining to myself about the day ahead.I was complaining that I just don't feel good today. I was setting myself up to not enjoy my day. Today I am going to a day long training on child abuse. No wonder why my thoughts before coffee were so morbid.But really what if today was your last day on earth? Think of all the people who woke up today and had no clue what the day would bring. My advise is to live everyday to the fullest and make sure to tell those you love that you care. You just never know.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Best Friends Wedding

My best friend was getting married and as the Maid of Honor it was proclaimed that I should write and read a speech. I wrote this speech on a scrap of paper under the dryer at the hairdressers with 5 glasses of mimosas in me on the morning of the event.
Welcome to all, my name is Donna and I am Chris' opening act. Before I start I would like to say that Jen you look stunning, and Shane you just look stunned! When Jen asked me to be her bride slave err maid I was delighted, but two days ago I was voulen told umm informed that I would be giving a roast umm toast. Please forgive me I am doing my own writing due to the writer's strike. First I'm going to give Shane some advice.
Whenever your wrong- ADMIT IT!
Whenever your right- SHUT-UP!
The best way to remember an anniversary is to forget one!
Never forget the two most important sayings--Shane repeat these after me..Your Right Dear, and O.K. Buy It!
Yes woman really do need new shoes for every outfit!
Lastly Shane never be afraid that Jen is going to leave you she has spent years training you and she does not give up easily!
I have been asked to read a card- Darling Jen, You know that you can't have me so i have sent you my stunt double. Love, Brad Pitt.
Jen.............. Jen and I met in Pre-school. We were both teachers there, that was over twelve years ago. What can I say about Jen..I am kind of limited due to that pinky swearing incident! A best friend is like a four-leaf clover...hard to find but lucky to have. To know Jen is to love Jen. Jen- has been with me through good times and bad... We have danced on tables, shopped (Payless!),gossiped (sorry Amy!) Laughed and cried together. Jen is a amazing person! Shane is a very lucky man. Shane I know you will take care of her ........she means the world to me. Keep her happy, make her laugh. Most of all Love her Always and Forever. So on that note I will propose a toast- May the best day of your life be the worst day of your future! Cheers!

Just A Typical Day In The Life of Me

It was a day just like any other day . I had slept really well the night before. I awoke before the alarm clock. I drank my coffee and took a shower. I got dressed for work. I decided to wear my new black heels. Rick and I texted each other back and forth. It was a great beginning to a lovely day, or so I thought.
I went on to work. I teach young children, preschoolers. While in my classroom one of my students called me over to the bathroom. She had a nice surprise waiting for me. She had missed the toilet and had made a mess on the floor. No problem I had my coffee and my love from Rick to keep me strong. I donned some hospital gloves and armed myself with a bottle of bleach water and sprang into action. I was scrubbing away and did not pay much attention until I felt my face get wet. By the third squirt of the bleach bottle I realized something was terribly wrong. I had some how inadvertently turned the nozzle of the bottle onto myself. I was also wearing a new red sweater and I quickly grabbed a towel hoping I had not ruined my clothes. No such luck was to be had for me on this day .
Thank God for lunch breaks. I would be able to go home and change out of my now tie-dyed acid washed red mess of a sweater. As I got into my car to head home it began to rain, a heavy non stopping sideways wind blowing rain. I pulled into my drive way and thought about the code of ethics that all shoe lovers share. Save the shoes! I took off my new black heels and tucked them under my ruined red sweater to keep them out of harms way.
I dashed out of the car and slammed the door. It was at the sound of the car door shutting that I realized I had just locked my keys inside. I ran up the sidewalk barefoot and with the shoes tucked safely inside my sweater to my front door. I almost made it.
I began to slip falling forward on the wet pavement. In a split second I made a decision. I thought do not let go of the shoes. I tucked my toes under me to stop falling. Wrong choice. I heard a snap of a bone breaking, and all neighbors heard was me cursing. I hobbled into the house and got my daughter to drive me to the doctor. Three x-rays later he told me what I already knew. I now have a broken toe and won't be wearing heels for a long time. My only wish is that come Christmas morning I will be able to put on sneakers and ride my new PINK bike. I am changing my name. Jane....Calamity Jane.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm Back!

I'm back! Did you miss me? I missed me. Life is finally beginning to settle down a bit for me. My college class will be over in two days. I can now take time to do what I want and write what I want to. I can hardly wait,so without further ado.....let the muse flow.
What is a Muse?
Muses (Ancient Greek ): perhaps from the Proto-Indo-European root (*men- "think") in Greek mythology, poetry, and literature are the goddesses or spirits who inspire the creation of literature and the arts. They were considered the source of the knowledge, related orally for centuries in the ancient culture, that was contained in poetic lyrics and myths.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I'm A Bitch

Ever get those days when you feel like and act like a bitch? Lately I hate everybody, myself included. I don't know why and that is part of what scares me. I also feel blue and sad. Typically I never feel this way. I am usually a very upbeat person.
The only things that I can come up with is that at this point in my life everything is chaotic. I work full time. My youngest daughter who is single had to move back in with me. She is 21 and about to be a single parent. As if that weren't enough to deal with I am also back in school. I am taking a "readers digest condensed version" of a college class. I go to school every other weekend from 6 to 9 on Fridays and 8 to 4 on Saturdays,and then 8 to 2 on Sundays. In between I am trying to write 7 term papers and study for and take 3 major tests.
I have other children too, and even though they live on their own close by me they still have problems that I tend to worry about. My job has been cutting back on hours and I worry about finances especially with a new baby coming into my household.
I have lots of friends but as of the last week I have been keeping them at a distance.I also have a long distance boyfriend whom I have been pushing away. I feel as tho I am on the edge and falling is looking really good about now.
I have a day off of work tomorrow and I am thinking about making a appointment with my doctor. I know that he will just placate me with the latest drugs. I don't want to go that route, but yet I don't know what my other options if any are at this time. Thanks for letting me vent.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I'm Just A Girl

I'm just a girl with a problem and a dumb question. I was doing dishes and hit the button for the garbage disposal. I swear I did not know that a spoon was caught in it. I removed the offending object ( after turning off the disposal; I am not that dumb ) My problem is this; the garbage disposal just hums and won't work. My question is this: Is there a reset button? Or should I just call a guy to fix it?


I hate Wally World. I only go there when no other store is open. Case in point: I was checking out at Wally World, minding my own business when all of a sudden I was rear-ended. I turned around to see a gentleman holding on to the offending cart. I said " Have you had your rectal exam this year?" " Cause I just did"


With the economy like it is many people are looking for ways to save money. I found a really great website that can help people to save money. Best thing yet it is absolutely free. You can help your community by either giving or getting free items. Save the environment and recycle while providing or receiving items of value for your family or for someone else. Has anyone used this site ? Tell us about the deals that have helped you in your need. Here is the link to Freecycle.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sleep With the Fishes

While I was at Jim ( gym ) last night, ( yes, Jim and I did make up ) the talk on the elliptical machines amongst the women turned to shoes. Oh, how I love shoes. I moan and groan over the mere thought of a good shoe sale. Doing Jim is a lot like buying shoes, both have been known to hurt so good.

Along with the shoe talk came the mention of two names. Manny and Paddy. ( No, these are not my Portuguese and Irish boyfriends). A Manny is a manicure, and a Paddy is a pedicure. My friend Suzanne Sugarbaker began to tell us all about a wonderful gift certificate that her sister Sin (Cynthia ) had bestowed upon her for a pedicure. This was to be no ordinary pedicure.

The pedicure that Suzanne was about to go have is one of the latest beauty fads making it's way across the nation. Judging by the weirdness of this beauty procedure it probably began in Hollyweird, California . Let me ask you one question. How much money would you pay to stick your feet into a tank of fish that feed off human flesh?

Yes, that's right flesh eating fish. I am not talking piranhas, but a fish known by the name Garra rufa . The Garra rufa fish is silvery and about a inch long kind of looks like a minnow or a small goldfish.. These fish come from a hot springs in Turkey. They have a appetite for --- human flesh. They have no teeth but kiss off dead scaly skin. It is said that when people stick their feet in the tank they end up laughing so hard that they cry. I am going to accompany Ms. Sugarbaker to her beauty treatment, and I think I just might be the only one laughing, besides the guy taking her money.

Monday, January 19, 2009

As some of you are aware I am currently enrolled in a “Human Diversity” class. The course is designed to introduce students to the opportunities, issues, and challenges of teaching students who reflect the diversity of the American population in terms of ethnicity, culture, race, religion, gender and sexual orientation. In addition we have been studying individual physical, mental, emotional, and personality differences.

To reply in comment on Martin Luther King I offer you the following wisdom. I grew up in a small New England town. I was raised to never see color. On the street where I lived was a family of ‘color”, back then that word color was a acceptable way to “label” the minority population. The words “Black” or “Afro- American” were not even whispered. Many people looked down upon my neighbors. I was friends with everyone on my block. The only other ever reference to my friends that I had heard growing up was from bigots and prejudiced people; and that was the word “N.” It pains me today to even write that acronym. In my father’s house I was taught that the “N” word should never be spoken. To do so would be the highest of sins.

In all my years of teaching I have taught a diverse variety of ages and population. I still to this day find it rare that a child will point out differences. We have come a long way in a short period of history, and for that fact we should celebrate the memory of a great man who gave his life so that we may be able to do so. I make it my life’s goal to be able to make a difference one child at a time. Each child is but a ripple in this pond of life. I view teaching with this following thought in mind. You will never teach a class anything. Shocking thought isn’t it. By this statement I mean I only teach the INDIVDUAL students board ideas, that are scattered around - you catch it when it comes around., and when your ready to do so. So I teach the individual. How is this different? The answer is that we are all unique. There is no such thing as RACE ( this is a artificial concept).

Here’s another thought for all to ponder. My professor just taught me something that I was not aware of, Africa is the birthplace of humanity. Please see the following link for an exclamation. Africa: Birthplace of Humanity.

Birthplace Of Humanity

Sunday, January 18, 2009

It's A Beautiful Day!

It’s A Beautiful Day!

I began today with three hours sleep. My brat had kept me up all night with what is known as Braxton- Hicks contractions. My daughter is seven months pregnant with her first child. She is a single, doing it on her own first time mother to be. Around 2 a.m. she crawled into bed with me. I was still awake blogging, emailing, texting and talking on the phone with Rick L. Whenever my baby girl does not feel well she has a habit of crawling in to bed with me. This is not a problem I love her and enjoy her company. She had a stressful day and I think this might of lead up to her not feeling well. She just needed a little o’ fashion dose of Momma. Eventually we both fell asleep around 5 a.m.
At 8 a.m. my good friend Sue called to remind me she would be right over to take me to church. Hey, what the heck free coffee and doughnuts gets me all the time. Today was the first time that I attended Sue’s church. I met three of her good friends and had a great time. I will be attending this church from now on.
I arrived home to find my son and his wife moving furniture for me. I have been asking for their help for awhile now. I am very pleased to say that my living room no longer resembles a storage unit. Mission accomplished.
Next on my agenda was a shopping trip to purchase a gift for myself. You see I am having a birthday in a few days and I wanted to make sure I got what I wanted. I bought a fabulous new Katy Von Zeeland purse. I have been lusting after one of her purses for six months now. Thank you kids! The bill is coming to your house. (After last year’s fiasco with not getting the PINK bike, I made sure I got what I wanted!)
I have saved the best for last. I also made my son make sure that my PINK bike was put together. My baby Rick L. made my dream of a PINK bike come true this year. (He never disappoints me, and always surprises me) Thank You Ricky! I jumped on my PINK bike and took it for its maiden voyage. I love my PINK bike and I love you baby! I hope that your day was just as beautiful as mine was. I can’t wait for to wake up tomorrow and see what the new day brings.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

I Broke Up With JIM

I Broke Up With JIM

It's over. It's a done deal. Today I officially broke up with Jim. Jim and I have been seeing each other for a year and a half. A long torturous year and a half. We have had our ups and downs, our in and outs. It has been a love/hate relationship. I have lost sleep over Jim. I have had pain because of Jim. I have cried because of him. I have sweated and cursed over Jim. Jim has kept me hanging many a night. I have awoken early for Jim many a morning. I have been at his door at the butt crack of dawn, without coffee I might add, only to find myself waiting for the door to unlock. I have lost weight over Jim. I have gotten strong because of Jim. I have spent money on Jim. I have spent even more money on looking good for Jim. Jim has cost me many a pair of good shoes too. I have belittled my self into doing drive-bys of Jim. As of this point I will no longer open my legs for Jim. I won't shed another tear over Jim. I will not bend over backwards for Jim ever again. Good-bye Jim it was nice knowing you. I had fun while it lasted. It's time to move on.
Arabic: إلى اللقاء
Chinese (Simplified): 再见
Chinese (Traditional): 再見
Czech: na shledanou
Danish: farvel
Dutch: dag, tot ziens; afscheid
Estonian: nägemist
Finnish: näkemiin, jäähyväiset
French: au revoir, adieu
German: Auf Wiedersehen, das Lebewohl
Greek: αντίο! (επιφ.)
Hungarian: Isten vele(d)!, viszontlátásra!
Icelandic: vertu sæll
Indonesian: selamat berpisah
Italian: arrivederci; addio
Japanese: さようなら
Korean: 안녕히 계십시오; 작별 인사
Latvian: uz redzēšanos! sveiki! ardievas
Lithuanian: sudie
Norwegian: adjø, farvel, på gjensyn
Polish: Do widzenia!, pożegnanie
Portuguese (Brazil): até logo, adeus
Portuguese (Portugal): adeus
Romanian: La revedere!, Rămas bun!
Russian: до свидания; прощание
Slovak: dovidenia
Slovenian: na svidenje; slovo
Spanish: adiós
Swedish: adjö
Turkish: Allahaısmarladık; Güle güle

BTW for those of you who are wondering............


Wish List

Wish List

Sometimes I don't want to be around me. I just don't have the option of leaving.
I have been spending time in deep thought, and too many cigarettes as company. My time reflecting has lead me to come up with a list. This is my list.

1. I don't want to hurt so much emotionally, I am willing
to feel emotions but I don't want to feel them so deeply.

2. I want to be able to say NO and not feel guilty. No, as in
I don't want to go out tonight, No as in I don't want to call
you back.

3. I want to look at my failures as turning into small victories.

4. I want to be successful in my eyes only. In what ever I do I
want success whether it's writing, paying bills on time, or
getting my oil changed.

5. I want to save money so I can travel on a whim. Ireland
here I come.

6. I want to feel young forever.

7. I want to be loved and to love someone that I want to
have sex with everyday for the rest of my life.

What's on your list?

Okay it was a day just like any other day in my life. I overslept. I just kept hitting that snooze button on my cell phone. My bed was just too comfortable and I was warmly cuddled up to my favorite cat Trance. I felt safe and secure snuggled down in my big bed with my comfy down filled comforter tucked over me. Life couldn't be any more perfect at that moment.

BZZZZ...... BZZZZZZZZ ... What was that annoying sound that was blasting me out of my dreams? It took me a few seconds to figure out that it was the alarm clock. That's when I awoke with panic in my eyes and a curse on my breath. I blearily eyed the time and sprang out of bed sending both Trance and myself flying to the floor.

I had exactly fifteen minutes to get to work on time. Yeah, like that was going to happen. It normally takes me fifteen minutes just to drink my first cup of wake up. There was going to be no coffee at home for me this morning. I quickly put on a skirt and blouse, and to heck with struggling with pantyhose today. I brushed my teeth, combed my hair and grabbed my purse.

Do you remember that annoying game show with Kathi Lee called I Can Name That Tune? The one where the contestants would out do each other by proclaiming I can name that tune in two notes. Well I have one-upped them. I can drive to work in 4.5 minutes (that is if I don't hit the traffic light on red). I have stopped running the red lights (not a choice of my own) since the city has installed a "smile your on candid camera".

I pulled in to the parking lot of my work and snuffed out my cigarette, I had two minutes to spare. My only thought at that moment was the mug of coffee that I could get once inside. No sooner than I shut my car door I heard, "Good Morning Ms. Donna" and then laughter. The greeting was from a father of one of my students, he slowly walked towards me as I grumbled back "Morning". He then proceeded to bend down at my feet and pick something up. As he straightened up he placed in my hand what he had just picked up off the ground, and smiled. I looked in my hand and at his retreating back as he said "Have a nice night?" It took me a moment to realize what had been placed in my hand, "Oh my God!" I exclaimed out loud. He had just handed me a pair of my lacy black panties that had fallen out of my car!

It is a known fact to my friends and family that I live in my car, well not really but you get the picture. I know that if I am ever stranded in a snowstorm while driving I will be a survivor. I have everything in my car from food, pots, pans, books, bottled water and clothes. I figured that the panties must of came from the recent trip I took to my sisters house or from the laundry basket I had transported to my sons house. I found the whole incident rather amusing. Not wanting to be any later I shoved the offending panties in my purse and went into work.

I bee lined it to the kitchen and straight to the coffee pot announcing to the ladies standing there to "Walk away from the coffee pot and no one gets hurt". The crowd parted automatically like the Red Sea. To talk to me before mass consumption of caffeine is to take your life in your hands. The people that I work with know that if it weren't for coffee, I wouldn't have any personality at all. I finished my coffee and went on into my classroom. I had a doctor’s appointment and was glad to know that I would be leaving work for the day before my friend in the parking lot would reappear to pick up his child.

As I left work for my appointment I decided to empty out some of the trash from my car into the dumpster. I walked over to the dumpster and not only did I throw the trash away but I also threw my car keys into the dumpster. I did the walk of shame back into the building to ask my co-workers for help. There was no way I was going into that dirty dumpster with a skirt and heels on. I enlisted the help of a fellow teacher who was wearing khakis and sneakers. She laughed all the way to the dumpster and jumped in. She found my keys and handed them over to me after I made a "Let's make a deal' with her. The deal was that I was going to cover her class so she could have a day off. I agreed and got into my car for the trip to the doctors.
Fast forward to the doctors office. I had just finished my check up and was at the check out window with the nurse. I opened my purse to pay my co-pay. As I was searching for my wallet I began to pull out various items, lipstick, hairbrush, and panties. My nurse began to laugh at the site of the offending panties. I turned and placed them into her gloved hands and said "since you are already wearing gloves would you mind holding these for me?" Such is the day in the life of Donna's traveling panties.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Little Pieces of Me
A few years ago I had quite a different life. I suddenly found myself a young single mother with three children to journey through life with. My neavu unmarried status was not a choice of mine. Fate had dealt me a losing hand. Never would I have imagined that when I kissed my husband good-bye that fateful morning it would be our last kiss. I arrived home late that evening to be greeted by my children, who were concerned that their father had not arrived home. I made frantic phone calls to friends and relatives. I had a feeling deep within my core that something was horribly wrong. My feelings were confirmed a short while later when I noticed a car slowly approach my house. My oldest daughter sensed something was amiss. She begged me not to answer the knock on the door.
I opened the door to a police detective. I knew before he told me. I immediately fell to my knees, I childishly covered my ears with my hands and threw the phone at him. On the phone was my husbands' brother whom I had been speaking with at the time. I heard the detectives words they burned deep into my being. He informed me that my husband was dead. The days that followed were a blur. My many friends and family took over, they got me through the initial shock. However the pain would not dissipate that easily. Pain every breathe I breathed every thought I felt. Pain it was my constant companion, It kept me company in those long sleepless nights. The nights were always the worst. Darkness begets darkness.
My pain was so immense that it burned through my veins circulating through my heart. There was no reprise. Pain ruled my impulses. At one point I considered ending it all. I plotted my own demise. It would have been so easy. So easy to curl up into a fetal position and reverse life. At one point I ran my car off the road only to turn the wheel back at the point of no return. I had pills. I had a gun. I toyed with these ideas, like a cat toys with its prey right before it pounces. I liked the idea of the gun it would be quick and there would be no chance to change my mind. I had a lucid thought, who would clean the mess up? I began to laugh uncontrollably, then came the tears. I slept that night a long restful sleep. I awoke the next morning with a plan. Laughter and a plan, they have carried me far.


May God forbid something terrible should ever happen to you or a loved one. With that being said I would like to give you some worthy advice. My family members and some of my friends are police officers and paramedic EMT firefighters. One of the first things that they look for when they come upon a scene (after taking care of you) is I.D. and your cell phone.
They have been trained to scroll through your cell phone to look for the word ICE. I.C.E (no I’m not referring to your drug dealer here; for those of you who don’t know ICE is also an acronym for crystal meth) ICE stands for In Case of Emergency. This number is the first point of contact that police or EMT’s will call. So please put in ice and then the phone number of the person you want to be contacted. You can even add an ice1, ice2, etc. Make sure that contact is aware of all your medical issues, allergies and medications too.
My family member who is an EMT firefighter has had to use this method of contact on several occasions. On one particle occasion he held up the cell phone to a young man’s ear, as the victim was circling the drain (circling the drain is a term that E.M.T.’s use to acknowledge that they are losing the victim).
As he held the phone up to the young mans ear his mother was on the other side of the phone and offered her then dying son words of comfort and love. I don’t share this story to make you sad but I do so to make you think. Please reach for your cell phones and think who my ice is. May God Bless and keep each and everyone of you in the loving palms of his hands.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I have a life
I stand alone
I have three children
They are all grown
I have given them my all
They have wings they will not fall
Life is too short
I do not moan
Choices are made
They are my own
No one knows
What’s in my head
Walk in my shoes
It has been said


circling the drain
only pain inside
this brain
circling the drain
closer...and closer
feel the pain
wash away
the childhood memories
unfiltered is its name
closing in
unyielding circles
spin faster
no restrain
let it flow


Left behind
Suitcases unpacked
Scattered afar
Thoughts are spinning
Deep inside
Time I will abide
Cotton candy whispers
Oh so sweet
Doors are locking
Keeping out the light
Shadows creeping
In the night
Secrets unfolding
Dirty laundry
Left soiled
Smells linger
Into darkness
I despair
Falling falling for your
Words so sweet
Closing closing
No repair