Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Best Friends Wedding

My best friend was getting married and as the Maid of Honor it was proclaimed that I should write and read a speech. I wrote this speech on a scrap of paper under the dryer at the hairdressers with 5 glasses of mimosas in me on the morning of the event.
Welcome to all, my name is Donna and I am Chris' opening act. Before I start I would like to say that Jen you look stunning, and Shane you just look stunned! When Jen asked me to be her bride slave err maid I was delighted, but two days ago I was voulen told umm informed that I would be giving a roast umm toast. Please forgive me I am doing my own writing due to the writer's strike. First I'm going to give Shane some advice.
Whenever your wrong- ADMIT IT!
Whenever your right- SHUT-UP!
The best way to remember an anniversary is to forget one!
Never forget the two most important sayings--Shane repeat these after me..Your Right Dear, and O.K. Buy It!
Yes woman really do need new shoes for every outfit!
Lastly Shane never be afraid that Jen is going to leave you she has spent years training you and she does not give up easily!
I have been asked to read a card- Darling Jen, You know that you can't have me so i have sent you my stunt double. Love, Brad Pitt.
Jen.............. Jen and I met in Pre-school. We were both teachers there, that was over twelve years ago. What can I say about Jen..I am kind of limited due to that pinky swearing incident! A best friend is like a four-leaf clover...hard to find but lucky to have. To know Jen is to love Jen. Jen- has been with me through good times and bad... We have danced on tables, shopped (Payless!),gossiped (sorry Amy!) Laughed and cried together. Jen is a amazing person! Shane is a very lucky man. Shane I know you will take care of her ........she means the world to me. Keep her happy, make her laugh. Most of all Love her Always and Forever. So on that note I will propose a toast- May the best day of your life be the worst day of your future! Cheers!

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