Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!

I want to wish you all a Happy New Year!
Please be safe I don't want to have to visit you in the V.I.P. section of Club Jail. Off to celebrate my Birthday. Wishing you love & peace.

Only in Flora Dora..

I woke up today and decided to enjoy my coffee while sitting outside. My almost two year old grand daughter decided to join me.(she had a cup of milk her beverage of choice) We sat and ate cantaloupe together. As she ate she kept saying Mmmm.Then she got up and began to do a happy dance while pointing to the life around us. Trees,cat,sky,birds, rocks and even an airplane. I got to thinking when did I lose the ability to really enjoy the simple things that are right in front of us all the time. Everyone should look at life through the eyes of a child. It is indeed a wonderful world.

Miss Lilly sporting her "hater blockers"

I Woke Up..

I woke up with........BUTTER on my nose!

Happy Birthday to me!

I smell cake..

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Family Traditions

            While doing research for a story that I am writing about my family I came across some interesting tidbits about my grandfather. My grandfather was French-Canadian he grew up in Canada on a farm. He moved to New England as a young man. He once owned a diary farm in Vermont. All the cows had names. He named the cows after family members. Sometimes the cows would get out of the field and wander onto the dirt road that lead to the house. We would have to get out of the car and shoo them away by name. Move it Uncle Leo, go home Jean, quit eating the lawn Paul. There were over fifty ways to leave your cow.                                                                                                                                                                  I also learned that whenever it was someones birthday the family would place a piece of butter on the birthday persons nose. No one in the family knows why this was done. I was wondering if anyone has ever heard of this being done and if you might know why.
At first I thought maybe it was because during the Depression  butter was a rare commodity. I had to quickly disclaim that thought as the time frame did not match. I am lead to think that maybe it was just a silly family quirk. I began to think about other families and I am wondering what traditions others have.What kind of traditions has your family made up?

              Upon further research and the God's that be Google has lead me to my answer. Here is what I have found:

Canada - Greasing the nose with butter or margarine. In Atlantic Canada (Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick and Newfoundland) the birthday child is ambushed and their nose is greased for good luck. The greased nose makes the child too slippery for bad luck to catch them. This tradition is reputed to be of Scottish decent. Birthday punches. In Quebec the birthday person receives a punch for each year they are alive and then one for good luck.

My birthday is tomorrow and I am so going to hide my nose.


Out of the Mouths of Babes

     I teach pre-school children. Today at school for breakfast we had pancakes and applesauce. One of my students blurted out "More porncakes and ass sauce Please!" The look on my co-teacher face was priceless. Her mouth was hanging open and her face betrayed her shock. I looked at her and said," Well, he did say please."

Monday, December 27, 2010

Danger..Danger Will Robinson

Update on the Snuggie

It is coooooooold in Florida. Going to be in the 20's tonight. There were snow flurries in Jacksonville. So this morning at 6 a.m. I realized that I needed to put the Christmas trash out to the curb. I looked at the local tv channel and was informed that it was a brisk 32 degrees outside.  I donned my boots and my fuzzy snuggie. As I returned into the house I slammed and locked the door. It took me two steps to realize that my snuggie was caught in the locked door with me still in its  clutch. I had to wiggle out of the snuggie in order to free myself. I laughed at the thought of my almost demise. Headlines: Local Woman Strangled to Death by a Snuggie. The body was still warm when found. Film at 11.

*Snuggies should come with a warning label*

I Just Had A Three-Way

Darn you Walmart you are evil. You lured me in to buy a popcorn tin with three different kinds of yummy popcorn inside. I just couldn't say no. It was on sale, only two dollars and fifty cents. And, Yes, it is possible to almost eat the whole tin of popcorn in one sitting. Ouch my tummy hurts...what aisle is the Pepto-dismal in?

Clean up on aisles 8..9.. and 10.

Potty Time

I am teaching my grand daughter  potty etiquette. I showed her how to wipe from front to back. I made up a little song. "Front to back..front to back"..I then told her "One day when you get big this may come in handy when you have to take care of  grandma."

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Ikea: Not Just For Swedish Meatballs

Have you ever been to an Ikea store? Ikea is humongous. It is a giant warehouse and show room. Everything Ikea sells is set up in staged rooms. There are hundreds of rooms to walk in and view. It is like going to a real estate open house. Everything from real clothes in the closets and dishes on the dinning room table. Bedrooms,living rooms,bathrooms,children's rooms and kitchens in every style abound.  Ikea even has it's own cafeteria because when you visit an Ikea it takes so long to see everything that you a bound to get hungry. I recommend their Swedish meatballs.

My friends and I go to Ikea sometimes to shop. Other times we go to Ikea to play. Here is what we play. We play Hide and Go Seek. Yes the favorite children's game is what we play. With Ikea having all those rooms set up like many different houses we never run out of places to hide. I once cramped myself into a coat closet. You should see the looks of surprise on peoples faces when they accidentally stumble upon someone hidden in a bed or under a dinning room table. Yeah, I know that I am an adult but I suffer from a rare disease. Peter Pan Syndrome.

Yeah, I'm One of Those Persons

I had to brave WalMart today. I donned my spanking brand new Snuggie. I was camouflaged as a regular everyday WalMart citizen. My infiltration of the masses went unnoticed or so I thought. But quite a few fellow WalMartians mistook me for a celebrity. My picture was taken a few times. I was told that I can go see myself on The People of

As a footnote * The Snuggie is not a new invention. I have been wearing my bathrobe backwards for years.

Don't Look!

Don’t Look                             
A few years ago my daughter invited me to go on a trip with her and her husband and their children. We live in Florida and the trip was planned to visit North Carolina. The objective of the trip was to find snow. My three grandchildren had never seen snow. I was asked to come along all expenses paid to help with the children.
I agreed to the deal and we left the week after Thanksgiving. We left Florida in the early evening hours. The two older boys fell asleep but my grand daughter was a small baby and she was fussy. I asked my son in law to please take the next exit so we could change the baby’s diaper and get some coffee.  He did not want to stop but I convinced him to do so. We were somewhere in Georgia and it was two a.m. when we found a seven-eleven  store to stop at.
After taking care of the baby and stretching our legs we headed out again. No sooner then we got back onto the highway we saw trouble ahead. Police lights and road flares lit the dark cold night. My son in law screamed at my daughter and I “Don’t look.” What does one do when they hear the words don’t look? You look. There had been an accident. I only saw one car. One body. The accident must of just happened. I witnessed a mangled body laying in the middle of the highway. I saw a police officer place a sheet over the body. My immediate thought was to pray. I closed my eyes and prayed . Dear Lord please be with this persons family and loved ones, surround them with your love at this time of need. One last thing Lord, I hope it was the deceased time to leave this earth.
No sooner then I had finished my prayer my cell phone alerted me that I had a text message. I thought who would be texting me? I noticed the incoming number was from out of the country. I opened up the text and read the following: On Time Arrival.

Lifetime Movies

Dear Lifetime Movies,
Not in my lifetime. I am smart enough not to marry a serial killer, rapist or wife beater.Where do you come up with these ideas for movies? Just saying....

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Had a wonderful day with the family. I am so blessed. Started last night at my son's house. We had a ham dinner then we watched the movie "The Elf". Went to my oldest daughters Christmas morning for her tradition of blueberry pancakes. Then watched the kids open and play with their toys. Finished the day by taking a four hour nap wrapped up in my new "Snuggie " reading from my new Kindle. Quiet fun, laughter and lots of love. Hope everyone else had a great day also.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Flash Mob -Made Me Cry!

Bread Making

In anticipation of receiving a new bread machine come Christmas morning I have been searching recipes. I have a good hunch that I will be getting a bread machine. My two year old grand daughter has let the cat out of the bag, by ripping open my gift to be in front of me. My daughter re- wrapped the gift. What has been seen can not be unseen. So I googled bread recipes and stumbled upon a really interesting person that I would like to share. Miss Clara reminds me of my mother and my grandmother she has great wisdom and lots of recipes. Enjoy!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

This poem was written in response to Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week in November 2010. She is a coordinator for the National Coalition's Faces of Homelessness Speakers' Bureau, and the story she shares in this poem is 100% real; it's that of one of her speakers, Rick. This was written to raise awareness, so please feel free to share.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Cover Your Eyes

    I don't know if I should be amused or flattered. I was just checking my blog hits and how people have stumbled upon me. Imagine my shock and awe when this came up on a google search: "Carrie Lynne" anal  I had no idea that I was that famous. I am still snickering over it and can't wait to share this story with the girls.

I'm In Love

I think that Jim and I will be getting back together after the first of the year. Everyone deserves a second chance don't you think?
To find out the whole story click here:    

All Jacked Up

I'm at home today all jacked up on NyQuil and no place to go.
 I want to visit some blogs if you have any suggestions leave me a link so I can go stalk.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with recreational drug use when done responsibly.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Santa Baby

Santa Baby,

I have been very good this year. Please disregard what Father Paul has told you, I think he needs to go to confession. Okay so with that being said I would like to present to you my list of things I want for Christmas.

1. Tickets to see Wicked the Musical.

2. I need a new camera as mine has died a horrible death.

3. A Bread maker

Thank You Santa xox

Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Dishwasher

My daughter puts dishes in the dishwasher and turns it on. I can't really complain she is doing dishes. But what drives me crazy is her idea of putting dishes away. The only time the dishes come out of the dishwasher is for her own personal use. She emptys the dishwasher on a as need basis. I was wondering what had happened to all my silverware and now know. Anyone else have kids that half way complete their chores?
My Secret Peanut Butter Cookies
Can you keep a secret? I knew you could. I am letting you in on my own super secret easiest ever recipe. I like to call these "There's Chocolate in my Peanut Butter" cookies. If you don't like chocolate ( you're weird) you can omit it form the recipe. You might want to double up the recipe as these go fast. The following recipe is worth it's weight in gold, I traded a batch for a new stove! ( I really did!)
Okay gather up about 50 ingredients ( gotcha).

One 16 oz. jar of peanut butter smooth or crunchy.
One cup of sugar
One egg
Now mix all three secret ingredients together. Next roll the mixture into balls. Place on a ungreased cookie sheet. Flatten the cookies with the back of a fork. Dip the fork in sugar to keep from sticking to the dough.
Place the cookies into a pre-heated 350 degree oven for 10 -12 minutes. while your waiting unwrap Hershey kisses and see how many you can eat before the cookies are done. As soon as the cookies come out of the oven stick an unwrapped chocolate in the middle of the cookie. Transfer cookies to mouth err umm plate using a spatula. Pour yourself a big glass of ice cold milk sit back turn on some Christmas music ( I suggest Santa Baby by MaDonna) and enjoy!!!

Grandma's House

Going to Grandmas

At Hospice there was a reception desk and on the desk sat a candy dish. The dish was made of cheap imitation cut to look like crystal glass. The sight of the sun glistening off that candy dish flashed me back in time. For a moment I closed my eyes and was transported back to the early sixties. I found myself remembering my grandmother. My father’s mother.
My grandmother watched soap operas. No one was allowed to talk while her soaps were on. So I would amuse myself by wandering around her house. One of my favorite things to do was to climb up all the twenty two steps of her staircase. Upon reaching the top stair I would sit down and bump my way back down on my butt one step at a time. This was not an easy feat as there were obstacles to be avoided on my descent. I was always careful not to knock over the piles of years worth of TV guides that were stacked high on the edge of every step. Grandma was a legend before her time. Grandma was a hoarder.
After my aerobic activities I would go in search of candy. Grandma always had candy at her house. Her candy dish was a recycled (before it was cool to do so) glass mayonnaise jar. The candy in Grandma’s jar was always leftover Christmas ribbon candy. In the thick heat of a sweltering July afternoon I would attempt to extract that candy from its finale resting place. I never got to taste the fruits of my labor. The Christmas ribbon candy stayed welded tightly to the bottom of that glass jar. Try as I might I was never able to get the candy unglued. In all probability this was probably a lifesaver. ( no pun intended)

Daddy's Girl ( a work in progress)

Daddy’s Girl

My father passed away on a bitterly cold November evening three years ago. It is only natural that thoughts of him have been running rampant throughout my mind. As my father lay dying in a Hospice facility I was his constant companion. I stayed by his side twenty-four hours a day for the last three days of his life. I spent those last days in deep conversation with him. There was no subject that was taboo.
My mother and father had divorced when I was fifteen years old. After their divorce I had no contact with my father for many years. I reentered his life after the birth of my first child some ten years later. My father had by that time remarried and taken on the bonus of two step daughters . I had gained one wicked step-mother. Our reunion was short lived as we had a major fall out over his drinking habits. As a child I did not have a choice to not be around him when he was drinking. But as an adult I realized that I did have the capacity to control the situation. I left my father’s house that day and never looked back. Twenty more years of my life would pass and lead me back to him and into this room that smelled of death.
I wanted answers to questions that had never been asked before. I was no longer the scared little girl who trembled in the night at the sound of her father’s raucous voice. I was brave. This time I had the power.