Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I'm A Bitch

Ever get those days when you feel like and act like a bitch? Lately I hate everybody, myself included. I don't know why and that is part of what scares me. I also feel blue and sad. Typically I never feel this way. I am usually a very upbeat person.
The only things that I can come up with is that at this point in my life everything is chaotic. I work full time. My youngest daughter who is single had to move back in with me. She is 21 and about to be a single parent. As if that weren't enough to deal with I am also back in school. I am taking a "readers digest condensed version" of a college class. I go to school every other weekend from 6 to 9 on Fridays and 8 to 4 on Saturdays,and then 8 to 2 on Sundays. In between I am trying to write 7 term papers and study for and take 3 major tests.
I have other children too, and even though they live on their own close by me they still have problems that I tend to worry about. My job has been cutting back on hours and I worry about finances especially with a new baby coming into my household.
I have lots of friends but as of the last week I have been keeping them at a distance.I also have a long distance boyfriend whom I have been pushing away. I feel as tho I am on the edge and falling is looking really good about now.
I have a day off of work tomorrow and I am thinking about making a appointment with my doctor. I know that he will just placate me with the latest drugs. I don't want to go that route, but yet I don't know what my other options if any are at this time. Thanks for letting me vent.

1 comment:

  1. I've been checking to see something from you for the last few days.
    I felt the same way a few months ago. Constantly finding myself thinking the negative about everything and hardly ever felt myself smile. Life got too much and too complicated. I went to my doc too, hoping not to get drugs but decided to try the lowest dose of what he wanted to offer... I got the meds.. took them when I got home.. took them the next day .. then took them again about 2 days later when I felt stressed.. I think I took a total of about 7 pills and then put them away.. it helped me get over the bump I guess. It was like I just needed to take a deep breath and recharge.

    I hope things change for you soon. Stress sucks. And life is too short to spend it unhappy!

    Can't wait to hear from you again .. hopefully in a more cheerfull mood!
    Take care