I could not think of a blog post to write so I took to twitter. I am the new kid on the block at twitter. So I sent out an S.O.S. The only response I received was write about your most embarrassing moment.
I have had several of those moments in my life time so I debated as to which one to write. It was a close tie between a bedroom moment and the one I am about to unfold.
I have always wanted to try Yoga. I was enrolled in College as a later-in-life student . While on campus I found out that Yoga was being offered as a community class. I talked my youngest daughter into going with me.
We purchased exercise mats and cute yoga pants, off we went to pursue inner peace.
Class was held in the schools dance studio. Upon our arrival I noted that the teacher was dressed in a white caftan and had on a matching turban. Oh Lord I thought what am I in for?
After introductions were made the guru began to guide us. Shoes were kicked off and yoga mats were unrolled, lights were dimmed to the level of a down and dirty honky- tonk bar. Let the games begin!
Soft meditative music filled the air. The first few classes we were taught the basics of deep controlled breathing and contortionist three ringed circus body movements. Eyes were to be closed for the majority of the class time.
A few weeks into the classes we began to learn difficult poses. On this particular night in the midst of performing the downward dog movement an unmistakable sound filled the room.
The sound heard in that drowsy silent filled room had escaped from my own body. Had I anticipated such a need I would have the chance to try stifle or muffle it.
Oh My God! Sweet baby Jesus! I had passed gas and I am not talking about a ladylike poof and it did not sparkle or smell like roses. There was no mistaking that I had just tooted my own horn.
My face immediately turned several shades of red. Snickering and giggles filled the room with sound. I felt as though all eyes were now wide open and staring in my direction. Should I laugh, excuse myself or just dig a hole and climb right in? No, I thought pretend it did not happen.
The yoga instructor locked her eyes with mine and calmly stated Body functions will happen. Bless her soul!
At the end of class as my daughter and I were walking to the car my sweet child inquired about the incident. “Hey Mom did you hear that fog horn of a fart? I think it came from that dude that was behind you.” I replied “Fart?” “What fart?” And so concluded my adventurers in meditative yoga. Who needs the stress.
Please keep this our dirty little secret.