Saturday, July 28, 2012

Venting and I Don't mean the Dryer Kind

You threw my mother away a crumpled up waded tissue that had been used by you so many times before.

Was she not two ply and soft enough for your giant ego?

She was good enough for you to use over and over..worn thin from your hands.

How do you sleep at night..oh that's right the devil never sleeps..he lies awake and waits and plots others demise.
You waited and counted down the days till you got what you wanted..must of felt like when we were kids and you couldn't wait till Christmas morning. No you never liked to wait you would sneak a peek at the presents before hand..I could tell you were ready no sooner then she had taken her last breath and her body was cold being taken away from her home. You got busy..ripping her clothes from there hangers..throwing possessions into piles..pocketing what you thought was already had an auctioneer lined clever your mind works..did your own dirty your blood money..

You tossed and turned her world upside down with each item she owned being weighed and valued in your devious mind.

How dare you even touch her rosary did it burn your hand as you slid it into your thieving pockets?

After not seeing or talking to me for years you made a special trip and gifted me with a letter hand delivered by you. Yes the letter ..DNR do  not resuscitate  our mother.. I say this to you .I have a DNR placed upon my feelings I once had for you.  Do..Not.  resuscitate my love I once had for has slowly died over the years as I watched and heard tell of your conniving ways.
Yes there will be a Catholic mass and yes to the question that you asked..

YOU will have to knell down to GOD.

You are not a man you are not a brother,you are not a son, you are not love. God is watching for you see just like the devil...God does not sleep..


  1. You can't change him. Don't allow him to make you feel this way, or, before you know it, fifteen years will pass by and you'll still be bitter and unless you are really good at turning your feelings off and on, it will start effecting other areas of your life.

  2. Not that I wish ill upon anybody (more or less), but life has a funny way of making sure we all learn the lessons we're supposed to learn. Give it time. He may get it one day. And in the meantime, pour yourself a big one. From me.

  3. If there is one thing that I would stand upon, one block of is the harvest. Vengeance is His. I am a divorced pastor's wife. Ex-missionary....long story. I refused to display the reasons...the women...the agony of why I left. I lost every relationship--everything. In the eight years since, I have been stunned as he has literally reaped what he had sown. After a storm--a tornado of a disaster of a life....I have absolute confidence that the Lord is in control. That the beauty in our lives reflects our ability to perhaps not "forgive," but to leave it in His hands.

    Your mom was and is loved. She is with you in your heart, and rejoicing above. Breathe deep...let go.

    In the end, all that matters is that you and your mom will dance together again. Who the hell cares if he is there?

  4. Ladies thank you.

    Ms A ~ great advice I refuse to let him make me feel this way. But it needed to be said. He has no clue that I feel this way. I have to face him in two weeks at my mothers service. I have three words for him "bless your heart "
    Chantel~ my sister keeps telling me to let it go..let God. My writing this post was a way for me to release the anger I feel. I immediately felt better as soon as I hit post. You are right I will breathe deep and put one foot in front of the other..time will heal my heart.

    Marianne ~ Cheers!